So I was cruising the net looking for things I may wanna buy for my dreamhouse when I grow up/win the lottery, and I came upon this picture.

Pretty right? I thought that they were some kind of fancy knick knack for your shelves that you could arrange together however you wanted to since they came in threes, but no. Upon further reading, I learned that they were actually Stone Love Eggs, toys to help strengthen your pelvic muscles. Yep, they are for your va-jay-jay.

The reason these egg thingys come in three sizes, is because you’re supposed to work your way from the big one down to the little one, and then apparently work two sizes together for extra stimulation… say what? Oh and don’t worry about it getting lost because it comes tied to a cord and can came come out easily if you laugh, sneeze or cough (pause). Yeah and it’s also an ancient Chinese secret, according to the maker Coco de Mer’s website:

The use of a stone or Jade Egg to strengthen the vagina is a practice that evolved in ancient China. The secret of this practice remained in the Royal Palace and was only taught to the Queen and concubines. Using this technique they remained youthful and some believe they used this technique to please the king while making love.

I’m all for women’s lib and sexual knowledge but umm, why make something you stick up there from semi-precious stones?