A short video/film of last nights skate session with Chinese Rob and Phunky Phill at Civic Center plaza.

Finally shifted my testicles from right to left and got my ass scootin’ out the door for once. I think if I had a mirror in front of me, I could see my pubes grow at a slow but alarming rate (I am talking about the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin and my birds nest below). I’ve been on some real mellow type shit as of late but spending thousands of dollars on photo equipment will cause you to sit at home and watch reruns of House MD and every bracket of S.K.A.T.E. on The Berrics website. My money is on Mike Mo but Ladd looked like he is ready to smother fools. Last day of the weekend and global warming decided to win yet again and allow the sun to come up. I thought I was going to be out for a hot sec but it turned out to be an entertaining skate session to say the least. Hardly got any photos on camera but managed to clip together a small piece of footy featuring Puerto Rican Joey, Joey the Asian Russian, Chinese Robby and the circus clowns of 6th an Folsom.

And notice a change in distortion? That’s cause I got this sucker!

Finally got them in the mail. They smell kind of funny but maybe that has to do with the denim or maybe it is pure Hawaiian funk. Don’t why I didn’t realize it but it seems kind of odd to sport denim shoe with denim. Remember back in the early 2000’s where jean fits (head to toe jean fit) were the rage and Rocawear was somewhat a respectable brand? Yeah, I don’t remember either but these would have been right up their alley. Big ups on In4mants for dropping another dope sneak. These will get some some sunshine when the rain goes away.

The next big skate video since Fully Flared (lesser degree Ride the Sky). I’ll be at the San Francisco premiere for sure and make sure to get there early cause I am sure whoever is into the SF skate scene will be there. Luckily they are showing two premiere dates and luckily there are a shit load of bars in the Mission to get your funky drank on. Check the dates for a theater near you or just wait for it to land on DVD since it will release only about a couple of days after the premiere. And I am saying it now, Tyler Bledsoe will have one of the best parts in the video. Skate or die snitches!

I was that close to splurging on some gear today but after I bought the In4mation Cabs last night, I decided to forward this over to people that have more ends then me and want some apparel for cheap. All UP stores and the UP website has everything half off as of today till 15th to help celebrate their 10 year of existence. Hurry and get yours before all the goodies are gone.

Peeped the opening reception for Ron English and Alex Pardee’s show today. I must say, I got it twisted thinking Pardee’s stuff was mediocre to my eyes but the guy produced some really quality art work. Homeboy makes Tim Burton look like Walt Disney with the twisted stuff he comes up with and the guy is a sweetheart and is humble as can be. It seemed hard to follow up such a show like Jeremy Fish’s but with a big ass alien in the corner with a tub TV in his stomach, I think he did just that. Check the video below for the recap….and your in luck, I paid the $60 to Vimeo so all my embedded videos should be in somewhat HD quality from now on. To bad it doesn’t help my cinematography skills….

FIFTY24SF Gallery has 2 great shows opening this Thursday featuring new drawings and paintings by legendary Ron English and Alex Pardee. I would say Ron English is one of the very few artists that is actually (traditionally and aesthetically anyways) a great painter. He combines a lot of social issues into his pieces, which gives all of them a unique aspect of his views through his paint brush. Should be a great show so don’t miss out.

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Ron English’s “Mythographic Vicissitudes”

Before Banksy, before Shepherd Fairey, there was Ron English, the catalytic figure in the advancement of street art away from traditional eighties wild-style lettering and into clever statement and masterful trompe l’oeil based art. For “Mythographic Vicissitudes,” Ron created a series of paintings based on variations on modern mythologies. Applying a sense of reverence to his patented mash of religion, history and art, English gives equal weight to all mythologies, from Jesus to Bigfoot to Expressionism. “Loch Ness Starry Night” depicts the emergence of the monster as seen through the eyes of Vincent Van Gogh. “Bigfoot in the Garden of the Gods” exposes the mythical missing link in his Colorado Springs lair, the epicenter of American hardcore Christianity. Marilyn and a mysterious Mickey Mouse, his face obscured by a gas mask, are bathed in Toulouse-Lautrecian light. And, a portrait of Jesus, the fisher of boys, fills in the messiah’s missing years.

The show features new drawings and paintings and “Mythographic Vicissitudes” will be on display at
the lower level of the FIFTY24SF Gallery from January 8 – 29, 2009.

Ron English:
www.popaganda.com/

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Alex Pardee’s “Letters From Digested Children”

“Letters From Digested Children” is a solo exhibition by Alex Pardee, a fine artist and illustrator
based in San Francisco.

In “Letters From Digested Children,” Alex Pardee pays homage to the children who are eaten by
monsters. Alex states:

Each year, thousands of children turn up missing. Some are found. But most, unfortunately, are not. Many of the children are victims of abduction, some are runaways, and a large handful of them . . . have been EATEN by monsters. However, the digestive system of many monsters is abnormally slow, and a large portion of these children that have been eaten are still ALIVE, patiently waiting to be saved. Over the last year, from various parts of the country, I have gathered a selection of written S.O.S. letters from some of these children who are slowly being digested by the monsters that devoured them. My new solo art exhibition, titled “Letters From Digested Children” will showcase those S.O.S letters, as well as all new artwork, installations, and portraits of some of the more popular child-eating monsters in honor of the children who have been wrongfully eaten, and slowly digested.

The show features new drawings and paintings and “Letters From Digested Children” will be on display
at the upper level of the FIFTY24SF Gallery from January 8 – 29, 2009.

Alex Pardee:
http://eyesuckink.com/

Damn….this took about five days (a couple of hours here and there) to finally finish this post with all the photo edits, the trial and error of CSS coding, and saving every photo to my server. Anyways, I found some of my coding from my past Myspace blog (gay I know) before I had my personal one and to my surprise, most of the photos weren’t taken down from the hosting site I was using. So instead of dipping into 2008, I decided to share some highlights from 2006-2007. A whole post dedicated to over a years worth of experience! I am sure the thought alone makes your vagina quiver. All text were written at the time of the events so if you really have the time to sift through it all (and I do mean all because this is one long post!), I commend you on being one lazy mother-fucker….but hey, I do really appreciate just the interest. Click here to get the full content and if I haven’t said it yet, Happy New Years to all and here’s to 2009 in hopes for something good.

By passing the bullshit of NYE, it was a great day to start off the 2009 year skating. This will soon become a fad in DSLR photography….the option to shoot photos and then with the quick shift of a button, capturing HD video. I am already seeing it everywhere on my spectrum of the internet so without even complaining about how it’s not keeping things real, I embraced it with open arms early. But its definitely going to be a new venture into this world of videography. I kept asking myself “why the hell am I perched on a chain linked fence being fifteen feet in the air, caring my $1400 camera!” and all while my asshole getting penetrated by not hot man sausage, but a cold steel rod that would even make all gay men quiver with fear.

I knew after the editing of the video that all the shots were worth the effort. To bad they will only be embedded SD form since I am having a hard time forking over $60 to Vimeo. To see it in sub-par HD, click here. Props to my boy Wongstarr for the dope Christmas gift drawing and for being my guinrea pig on this project. Enjoy my first ever edited skate video.

First I would like to go out on a limb and call myself a hypocrite before people start noticing that I have butt juice in my mouth and pointing fingers about how I am eating my own words out of my ass. I hate Nikons. Passionately have been saying that ever since the dismissal of two prior Coolpix cameras that I owned. Give me the answer why I would jump into getting a $1300 DLSR after learning that this brand was shit and I’ll give you a cookie. I honestly don’t have an answer to it. I know technology grabs me sometimes and I get hyped on mediocre tools like three inch screens and HD video mode….all which have nothing to do with the performance of this camera. Perhaps it’s the 10mm fisheye Nikkor lens that sueded me to get this or the 4.5 burst shot capability. Whatever it is, I just feel evil holding this camera, like I am cheating on my first love or something. But what has love ever gotten me anyways. Sorry Canon….

Last weekend for making gift ideas into a reality. The list was only so long this year but there were a couple of people that I had to hook up. My good friend Susan is in for long nights of self satisfaction……and yes, that is the famous rabbit vibrator from Sex and the City. Maybe this is due to the fact that I don’t like sticking things in my ass, but have you been in the market for one of these bad boys? I mean it’s a plastic thing with a motor in it! Didn’t think it would cost me so much….but when it comes to the season of giving, I guess you can’t put a price tag on a gift, let alone a device that rotates in your vagina (and ass if that tickles your fancy) while two plastic ears play with your clitoris monster. Should have got the matching colored anal beads as a stocking stuffer.

And a little gift got myself. Possibly the best skateboard film ever and the first to be on Blue-Ray. Thanks to the DLX crew for hooking it up with a discount.

Sometimes when life gets hectic, you just need to get away. Get away from the lies, the deceit….and more important, the bullshit. I knew the feeling about a year ago and I feel like I owe it to anyone that feels those same emotions, to be by their side in comfort and support. But one day things will get better, and we’ll look back at this god awful mess and shit in our pants in hysteria. For now, we can only wait….and heal slow.

The fuzzy feelings aren’t quite there but it is still nice to see festive people getting in the spirit of Christmas. Sometimes you just have to shut up and take in something that is beautiful, even though it is just colored electronic lights laced all over a building.

FTC/Adidas party was chill, even though no one actually really bought the damn shoes being released but the crowd came in numbers anyways regardless. Create a flyer that there is free booze in the city and you’ll get the usual scally-wags crashing the party getting their free drink on. In these trying time, you got to get it where you can get it. Saw the SF skate locals in the spot, Rob-Dizzle rolled through, and a slew of pros represented (Omar Salazar on the bottom right corner) for the love of FTC.

And never in any circumstance sticker bomb the very store that is throwing the party. You’ll pretty much get tossed the fuck out! FTC heads came to bring the pain hardcore from the brain! Shout to Philly Phil and the other Fatlace head Yusai for finally meeting. Skate sesh sooner then never….but hopefully one day.

The 3 Stripe meets Frisco’s finest skate shop. Make sure to come through for the festivities and cop Adidas pack complete with shoes, shirt and hoodie.

FTC in-store party 7:30-10pm
1632 Haight St
San Francisco, CA 94117
(415) 626-0663

Another night of pro infested skaters to goggle over like a hermaphrodite princess looking at the latest Vera Wang dresses. But I did manage to obtain over one year of SLAP material in one night. I’ll have enough pooper material to last me till at least next week. Remember, SLAP is now digital and will never be on print ever again (cover of Heath Kirchart doing the front blunt is the last issue). Check out the latest at SLAP and check out the dope article on the Tiltmode Army.